Familiar confines. The walls of your life, your existence. Whats it made of? Comfortable edges, safe flooring, nice roof over your head. But, whats outside? Go to the safety of the window and look out. Interesting to look at from back here, behind the glass. But, take a closer look. Curious? When I was a child, I used to love when my father took us on holidays to the sea. I would spend days exploring the rocks and reefs. I loved to investigate, watch the little fish, hermit crabs and see all that nature had to show me. I would never tire of going to the same cove. It seemed as if there was always something fresh and new and I delighted in finding it. I guess somewhere along the way for a few of us, somebody told us that curiosity killed the cat and we bought it. I cant do that. I dont dare try that. Thats not possible. That is just not practical. I dont think so. Our world gets smaller and smaller. Same old stale air cycling through. Same old ideas, mind-sets and view-points eye-balling the same old things. I never wanted children for the longest while. I resisted the whole idea of it. I always felt that children would come along and disturb my peace and serenity. At 38, seemingly out of the blue, I changed my mind. My thinking was, that I would come off of the pill and remove any barriers to more love coming into my life. If God felt that having a baby was what needed to happen, then I was not going to block it anymore. My daughter was born when I was 39 and my son when I was 41. Its funny, that all of the things that I feared would happen if I had children... did. Over and over and over! Talk about my nice, neat, orderly world being shaken about! Every day, my peace and serenity met fresh challenges! Last year, I recall saying to a friend, that it would be easier to save my country from a world of crime and lead them to peace and enlightenment, than it would be to raise both of my children! We both started laughing, but part of me was not exactly kidding. A lot of days it really felt like I was in a huge battle and I was just out-numbered, out-played, out-sourced... Somewhere along the way, my perspective shifted and what once seemed like an enemy, is now seen as an ally. The combination of my two children provides exactly what I need to shake my world up, get me out of my comfortable, familiar territory and push me into the unknown. When I think that I know the limits and edges to my world, they show me otherwise. They remind me that there is a game to be played, a world to explore and that I can have fun doing it. I can step outside of the box, take a look around, get curious and have an adventure. Being totally present with them, I decide and create who I am being moment to moment. I am discovering that I am much more than I thought. I am definitely curious to uncover more, to dig deeper and step outside of what looks like truth and reality today. Be willing to push beyond what is seemingly all there is, for a deeper, simpler truth. |
