brainydodo.com brainydodo.com
Site Home :> About Us :> Place Your Link :> Privacy :> Terms of Service :> Add Article
Search:   
 
 

Nasal Drip: An Anthropological Phenomenon

Do you know the difference among women, men, and guys with nasal drip? I found out by people-watchin ... - Pamela Beers
 

How to be Shakespeare

A humorous look at who Shakespeare was - Mark Juddery
 

Experts Use Ten Simple Concepts: #6; Attitude

Look, if you think for a second this series is easy, you're nuts. I said Simple, that's all. You?re ... - Drew Kittinger
 
 

Setting History Straight

For contrary to popular belief, the series of light operettas commonly attributed to Gilbert and Sul ... - David Koblick
 

Connecticut State Scottish Festival in Goshen

Connecticut doesn't have an annual state fair as it participates yearly in the Eastern States Exposi ... - Gail Leino
 
 

Site Home › Society & Issues › Humor & Pastime
 

Hitler's Application to God for Entrance to Heaven

 
Author: Jim Roe

Suddently, I found myself at the end of a very long line of people standing about four abreast. I'm not sure how I got there. The line is slowly shuffling forward. People are joining in behind me at the end of the line. They are all types of people, mostly old like me. I cautiously step out of the line to look around. The line is very long. Not much to see except a very bright but pleasant light up ahead. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I must be dead.

Unbelievable. I recognize the surroundings as that reported by The National Enquirer. Of all things, the National Enquirer! They would be proud . . .

I didn't feel bad or upset, just a bit concerned. Then someone strolled by telling us that not to worry: "This is the lineup to heaven. he said. Then he explained that if we were in this lineup we would be admitted to heaven. With that reassuring thought we all relaxed.

Looking around I saw a man who looked exactly like Hitler. Having nothing better to do, I elbowed my way to him. "You look exactly like Hitler." I said.

"Yes," he replied, "I am Hitler."

I laughed and said, "No, I mean the evil Hitler of fifty-odd years ago."

"Yes, I know. I am he."

"That's ridiculous," I said, "Hitler was the most evil of men. He would never be admitted to heaven."

"That's true, said Hitler, "when I arrive I was placed in the lineup to Hell." A group of people gathered around, interested in the conversation. They looked a bit silly, circling around us, all shuffling slowly forward, some shuffling backwards, and some sideways, all most interested.

"Fortunately," he continued, "the decision to send you to Hell can be appealed. So I appealed." That brought a few laughs from the crowd.

"On what grounds could you possibly appeal on?" I demanded.

"Well," replied Hitler, "I claim I am not responsible for my actions."

"Insanity? Insanity? You have the nerve to claim insanity?" I cried.

"Oh no," said Hitler. "I was and am quite sane. I acted insane on a few occasions but that was for show. My claim is that I was given a defective brain. Who or whatever gave me such a defective brain is responsible for my actions. In my opinion they have a lot to answer for."

"But this is fifty years later. Surely Heaven does not work that slowly." I said.

"Well, yes and no." replied Hitler. "For the appeal I was entitled to legal council. Lawyers are a strange lot. When no money is involved, they are very moralistic. No one would assist or defend me. So I have spent the last fifty years looking for a lawyer, appealing my case or waiting in line for a hearing in the next higher court.

"There are many levels of appeal. At each level I presented my case. Not having legal representation, they gave me great leeway. Each court could not make a decision so they passed me up to the next level of appeal.

"Finally I exhausted all levels of appeal. They decided I should meet with the Big Guy for him to decide." Big Guy? I thought; What a flippant attitude to take, considering where we are.

"Don't look so smug yourselves. Others can appeal your entrance to heaven. For the dead, they appeal in person and for the living, their sole can appeal, claimed Hitler. Now that caused a lot of concern within the crowd, I included . . .

Just then, a cloud, a mist, a form appeared amongst us. We were in it and yet we were not. The mist, or whatever it was, gave me a subtle warm feeling of safety, joy, and so many other nice feelings.

"Big Guy?" the form spoke, "You called me Big Guy? Well I am here. State your case and it had better be good."

Hitler paled. For him, this was for all the marbles. Heaven or Hell. No further appeals, no further delays. Slowly Hitler gathered up his courage and spoke. I must admit he put on a good defense. Calm, logical, detailed, while not denying his actions or the evil he caused.

"That's it? A defective brain?" roared God, "That's it? You mean to tell me you have bluffed your way to this level with that argument? I can see a lot of early retirements are in order in the Appeals division. You should have never made it past the first level of appeals, lawyer or no lawyer."

God then spoke to us: "Surely any of you can see the flaw in his argument. You have twenty minutes to detect it. When you explain it to him, and he is off to Hell. Don't fail yourselves and do it quickly." With that, the form disappeared after giving us a personal welcome to heaven.

Except for Hitler. . . Hitler quietly accepted the inevitable and walked away without saying goodbye or waiting for our answer.

And I ask you: What was the flaw in Hitler's defense? If you want my answer, sign in on my guest page at www.smartjobhunting.com

James Roe2006

Author Bio:
Jim Roe is a famous writer. Jim likes to scribble articles about this topic.
You can search for this article using: funny news, funny news stories, funny news articles, funny news headlines, current funny news
 
 
 

Related Articles

 
A Dog's Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking
 
For Baby's First Christmas, a Lump of Coal? Ten Baby Gifts to Avoid This Holiday Season
 
Summer Bulletin Board (Ways to Have Fun This Summer)
 
How Not To Handle Bad Breath
 
Connecticut State Scottish Festival in Goshen
 
Artificial Intelligent Lawyers; All Attorneys Are Fired!
 
Return to Eden; It Ain't the Place You Rember It to Be, or is It?
 
Not So Intelligent Design
 
A Look at Christian Lapel Pins
 
End Over: A Mountain Biking Story Where The Main Character Should Have Totally Bitten It
 
 
 

 

Sports & Adventure

 

Eating & Drinking

 

Teens & Kids

 

Education & Reference

 

Employment & Careers

 

Hotels & Travel

 

Art & Culture

 

Events & News

 

Vehicles & Automotive

 

Games & Play

 

Research & Science

 

Medical Care

 

Law & Politics

 

Recreation

 

Self Management

 

Family & Home

 

Finance & Investment

 

Business & Commerce

 

Health & Therapy

 

Lifestyle & Fashion

 

Software & Networking

 

Property & Estate

 

Malls & Shopping

 

Society & Issues

 
Site Home :> Privacy :> Terms of Service
Copyright © www.brainydodo.com - All Rights Reserved Worldwide.